Helping others succeed creates your own success- One Minute with Jay

Help others succeed if you want to get something out of the deal. This may seem selfish. But when you really think about it….it isn’t selfish at all.

We are all co-dependent on each other to survive.

Teams are created to ensure the survival of an idea or mission. That’s why businesses have so many execs, managers, supervisors, secretaries etc. A team is necessary.

And we all want to win in some shape or form. So if you can help someone else win you can become a winner.

Think about business again as the perfect example. The businesses that thrive are the ones that provide the most value.
Value is given, we pay cash, and the business increases revenue.

If you want success provide more value to more people.

How can you provide value? Leave a comment below and let me know.

-Jay

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Best Leadership Traits- Part 1

What are the best leadership traits to have? We will discuss below. You do not have to be bananas to be a leader or some crazy fortune 500 CEO. You are a leader right now and can lead from where you are. The points below are easy to work on.

1. First & foremost is vision.

A leader has a clearly stated mission that is easy to state in a few sentences or less. Take a look at Xerox’s mission: “Our strategic intent is to help people find better ways to do great work–by constantly leading in document technologies, products and services that improve our customers’ work processes and business results.”

If you work for Xerox it’s pretty clear why you are there and what you are contributing to. You become easier to follow if people know the reason behind their work and how they play a role in executing the vision.

2. All will drive. 

Great leaders have tremendous drive that powers their will to succeed. All of their will is used to succeed even when they struggle. There is a definiteness of purpose. Anyone can have this by having and maintaining a list of specific goals. Keeping the goals in mind creates self motivation to achieve them.

3. Outlook on future. 

The future always looks bright. You’ll notice that some of the best leaders will figure out how to turn a disadvantage into a strength. If you take a look at a NBA player like Kobe, you get to see this first hand during the period he played with one hand: pic.twitter.com/HgEde5yXCn. Because leaders like him believe that they will win no matter the circumstance.

4. Unshakability (Un-Shake-Uh-Bill-Luh-Tee). 

When you are a leader there is always something that can be a source of aggravation. This is especially true if you are trying to spark change. Being even kneel and have a certain unshakability is what keeps you from being easily pushed off course. Many leaders learn to control their immediate reactions. Focusing on solutions rather than the problem itself is one way to avoid allowing your emotions get the best of you.

5. Presentation Ability. 

You do not have to be a great Martin Luther King like orator. But you will need confidence to persuade and convey your messages to group of people. If you have struggle in this area joining a group like toastmasters can help you get practice. Above all else remember to be yourself. Even one the co-founders of Nike, Phil Knight has openly talked about how much he hates public speaking. But he does it anyway despite how he feels and he does it his own way.

6. Intense Concentration. 

Leaders can concentrate and work intensely on their goals. This requires removing distractions. Personally when it is time to work on a project I remove anything from my desk that can cause my mind to wander: computer if not needed, phone, clicky pens, pictures of my family (I know, that’s weird. But I will use anything to procrastinate or day dream so the pics have to go too.).

Stay tuned for part 2.

Let me know if you have any of these traits….oh and as a reminder please add me to your email contacts/list…this is to keep my weekly posts from the evil spam folder.

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Dealing with a lack of motivation- One Minute with Jay

When dealing with a lack of motivation I prefer to increase physical activity.

I can’t tell you how many times I did not want to study, or complete homework especially as an adult working towards advanced degrees.

It’s tough. Currently, I fight staying on a healthy diet. I’m trying to limit my carbs….but boyyy sometimes double cheeseburgers ? start calling my name.

That’s why I exercise. Not to have an excuse to bury my face in glorious ground beef on toasted seasame buns but to combat my motivation droughts.

I learned that physical activity increases cognitive ability. So I can increase my concentration by taking a walk or jog or even hitting the dumbbells real quick.

The next time you feel unmotivated try to get moving and go back to whatever was the object of your procrastination.

 

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Define Delayed Gratification- One Minute with Jay

As we define delayed gratification I immediately think about reaching financial goals. Jim Rohn speaks about a fundamental difference between the wealthy and the not so wealthy.

What is it?

The ability to delay gratification.

This is a key because you cannot just get a fortune overnight, or have the perfect salary, or the perfect body (zero percent body fat, baby oiled glistening abs that you can bounce quarters off of. Maybe I’m only talking for myself :)) It takes time, it is a process and the wealthy learn to set long term goals.

The strategy is planning for the long game. What will it take to save 10K, 20K, 50K? You may say to me “But hold on I don’t make alot of money Jay. I don’t know what type of checks you get but I’m on a fixed income. I have bills.” I hear you. So do I. But if you take your goal and break it up over 5 years it may suddenly become more manageable and easier to save towards it each paycheck.

Delayed gratification isn’t a forever thing, it’s temporary, it’s a building process, it creates high tolerance and patience in the process, it qualifies you and gives staying power (because you had to work for it, you won’t give up as easily in tough times).

Jay

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Control your anger emotions- One Minute with Jay

Control your anger emotions through 3 simple tips: Breathe deeply and exhale through your mouth.   2. Forgive yourself for your triggers. I have some quick triggers myself but instead of feeling bad about these things I just accept myself. (Then you move forward in …

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Failure leads success- One Minute with Jay

My biggest failure or at least one of my biggest failures is why I believe that failure leads success. A pain point of my life is the lack of role modeling or mentoring I gave my little brother.

While we grew up in the same household I set the best example that I could, going to work while in high school, running my own grass cutting business and spending time trying to teach him right from wrong.

I tried to be a father figure, stand in the gap but he resented my advice that I would give.

I went to college and had to hear how he escalated from graffiti to worse crimes, eventually disappearing for a year. Then we received a call, “the call.” “Are you willing to accept a call from___?”

He was in jail.

I spent so time studying, working on campus, internships.

I instantly felt like I failed my little brother.

I could have spent more time with him, even if he didn’t want to hear my mouth. I could have encouraged him more, been an ear to help keep him from the streets.

Mind you I was only a kid myself, with my own baggage but I could have done more. This regret in part fuels my desire to mentor. I learned that sometimes the people that don’t want to be mentored are the one’s that need it the most.

Part of mission is to reach as many people as possible & break their negative thinking. What failures have created your success or are creating your success?

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How to gain energy naturally- One Minute with Jay

theunboundblog.com

  I have tested this for myself and know that this is a great practice because it has helped me. When I wake up around 5 AM, read something quick that inspires me, work out for 20 to 25 minutes, then make my plan of …

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Power small wins- Celebrate the small victories- One Minute with Jay

After talking on the phone and then sitting face to face with a workout buddy of mine last week, I realized that I had to write about how to power small wind and why you should celebrate the small victories. I could hear her voice …

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Shield yourself from negative people- One Minute with Jay

There are just some folks that if I see them coming down the hall, street, aisle, wherever, I will turn and walk in the opposite direction. I mean power walk right out of there. This is because you have to shield yourself from negative people.

People that are ALWAYS upset or complaining about something no matter how small, even after you try to make them realize the good in their situation…Yup…them. You cannot save them, if they do want to be saved.

You cannot force better on them or in some cases even have a rational conversation. This is unfortunate but it is so true.

Negative people will suck your energy, life, youth (or what’s left of it) and then move on to the next unsuspecting warm body like an adult mosquito in the middle of June. I avoid at all costs but if the person is someone that you cannot easily cut out of your life then there are some steps you can take to lessen the impact of the this persons’ energy.

  1. Get positive people around you through elimination

Now this seems easier said than done but engagement is everything. What you engage in will determine what type of people you have around you. Whenever Negative Nancy or Sad Sam comes moping your way engage them less. You can do this by not getting excited when they tell you today’s new horror story.

Once Sad Sam realizes that you aren’t as into the conversation as you used to be he will have to move on. This leaves room for more positive buddies to meet you.

I’ve done this multiple times to weed out the energy drainers in my own life. Simply put, if you have been stuck in the same problems from 1997 I may not be the right friend for you. Sorry, life is too short.

2. Understanding their point of view

I find that a negative person’s view on most things is either based on being afraid of the worst or being afraid of not being loved. If this is the case then maybe you can minimize the negativity by reminding the person that what they are experiencing is fear. Which is natural but allowing it to control or stop you is not.

If you can find a common ground or point of reference this may give you enough to help refocus the other person’s perspective (even if it’s only temporarily).

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