Your habits are who you are- One Minute with Jay

Your habits are who you are. Your personality is made up of what you do regularly. If you show me what you do every day then I can show you who you are as a person.

The people you hang around, your friends, your family, your acquaintances, all make up or at least influence the person you will be. Yes! But I’d like to go a little bit deeper…

What type of people do you hang around? Are these people considered mentors to you? Are they teachers? Do you actually value their advice? For me it’s less about the people you hang around and more about the quality of people you hang around/the purpose of you hanging around them.

When you spend time with these mentors or teachers do you spend more time asking for advice or taking advice? Are you seeking their advice? Or do you spend more time just talking about yourself, your problems and your issues?

A leader goes through a few different phases one being the phase of not wanting any advice, then the phase of wanting advice but not seeking it, followed by seeking advice but not listening to it, and finally heeding the advice of wise individuals.

I can easily tell where you fall on the leadership scale simply by observing while someone is trying to teach or mentor you.

Just something to think about 🙂

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Define Follow Through- One Minute with Jay

Define Follow Through When you tell yourself that you going to do something, like finally go to the gym this week and then push it off until you say: “Mmmhmmm, maybe next week. The weather will be better by then.” What you are really saying …

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The Law of Sacrifice- One Minute with Jay


The law of sacrifice states that something of lesser value must leave in order for something of greater value to take its place.

What is difficult is reassigning the value of a situation, circumstance or person in your life.

I have parted ways with many former friends in the past. Not because they were bad people but they were not working towards the same things I wanted.

When I was trying to save money to purchase a house, they were looking for the next party or the next girl to sleep with.

That was not a part of my lifestyle. So I had to let them go. Well I wanted to but they knew all about me: the schools I went to, my mom, my sister, my favorite food from childhood, and listened to the same music as me.

I couldn’t just cut them off, right? There is just too much history. They accept me for me.

So instead I focused more on the things I wanted out of life. Eventually my “friends” stopped calling me.

I couldn’t hang out everyday because I worked long hours, I couldn’t hangout on the weekends because I was saving.

A party wasn’t worth delaying my future.

What is sacrifice to you?

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Career Management Development


Career management development begins with adding value in very specific way.

Many of us trying to climb the proverbial success ladder think that we have to constantly compete. But it’s not about competition at all.

Fighting for your next promotion or a new job is all about being a complementary piece to your boss or team.

Oh, I recently spoke with a friend that told me he hates the word boss. So let me rephrase that: be a complementary piece to your manager, director, principal, team lead, or your actual team if you happen to be the manager.

Add value by helping them achieve their goals. Become accustomed to underpromising and over delivering (giving way more than expected, even when you feel like it won’t be reciprocated). This will only help you achieve yours in the process.

Once you prove that you are interested and able to help (by results people, the results are proof) then you can begin to further the conversation about development and promotion.

You see,  the conversations actually began when you started to add value.

How can you assist someone else achieve their objectives?

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Test of Leadership- Joining the immovables

The test of leadership is surviving and overcoming what average people run from.

It’s seeing opposition and standing firm right where you are. Executing no matter what you are faced with.

You trust the process.

Trees in particular remind me of leadership because they withstand all elements. They are most vulnerable during their initial growth stages but if they survive, WHEN they survive, you better watch out.

This is no different than you and I. When we start off in leadership roles it is easy to be swayed, confused at times, and even frustrated.

But the longer we stay planted, grow, learn in our roles….we become immovable.

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Don’t despise small beginnings- Built for Greatness

You may think that what you have in your possession is small. But I am here to tell you that it is not.  Don’t despise small beginnings.  What you have is not small, what you have is not insignificant, this is the building block for …

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Does Money Matter in Relationship

Does money matter in the relationship, relationships in general?

Yes it absolutely does. The number one cause of divorce do to some sort of financial problem. Sometimes the problem is a shortage of money, Sometimes divorce happens right after one spouse or if you can even imagine this both spouses get laid off at the same time.

If this makes you cringe then it’s time to talk to your helpmate.

Discuss the what if’s so you know where your partner stands. What do I mean? Will your partner stick by you if you lose your job and current lifestyle?

One of my ex girlfriend’s values were so out of wack we had to break up after my company was downsized.

She told me that getting laid off was my fault because I saw it coming and now she was upset. My guess is that she was angry that I couldn’t provide.

I admit, sometimes the writing is on the wall. Butttt I thought things would turn around if I worked harder.

Close but no cigar.

So that chapter had to come to an end.

The thing is I had no clue my girlfriend was so self-centered and did not care about me as a person or our relationship beyond my paycheck.

That’s why I definitely advocate for you to speak with your significant other as soon as possible when it comes to your financial values.

The last thing you want is to get into a pinch and realize after a few years that a piece of your relational foundation is unstable.

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i Statement Examples- Your words have power

Every I statement you make in your life has meaning and future consequences. Why? Your words have so much power. Some I statement examples are:

I am beautiful.

I cannot do this.

I am dumb.

I am not qualified.

I am intelligent.

This morning my mantra was “Jay regardless of what your current situation or obstacle looks like, you can and will overcome it.” I believe that I am a conquer.

I tell myself things like this on a regular basis as reminder of what I have and can accomplish. I learned through a friend of mine that everything I place an “i” in front of is a construction for my life.

Your words are constructing everything that you are, everything that you do. So be extremely careful in what you are telling yourself because you just may believe it.

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Resilience vs Resiliency

This video is near narrated by Eric Thomas and describes resilience vs resiliency so well. Check it out!

Anyone can be resilient once or twice in their lives. Anyone can have the ability  to temporarily act as if nothing is wrong, when you have chaos around you.

Last year I had to give a presentation at 10:00 AM. I was prepped, energized and ready to go. Around 9:45 AM I receive a call.

My mentor had died. This was a man that served as a father figure and gave me the confidence to pursue becoming a speaker.

I hung up the phone, close my office door, cried for 15 minutes, dried my tears and then pushed forward.

I gave my presentation to a room of people who had no clue what I was going through or how devastated I felt. I gave it my all, my best.

That’s being resilient in the moment. Now to continue on word after multiple hits…… That something entirely different!

Multiple blows can affect your spirit. Decreasing it over time, to the point of depression. If you can avoid getting that low, you have resiliency.

You may just have the ability to do exactly what Eric Thomas said in the video…

FIGHT BACK.

DON’T STOP…..

EVER

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