Today’s post is a little more personal and close to home for me. This week’s problem of the family, well problem in my family is doubt.
My mom is getting a pacemaker installed in her chest this morning. And since last week actually there has been a sea of doubt ebbing and flowing over certain folks in my family.
Will she be okay?
Will she make it?
What does this mean for the rest of us if she does not make it or her body rejects the pacemaker?
How can I move on without my own mother?
Do I even want to imagine what life would be like without her?
Mind you my mom is full of confidence and high expectations. She knew about the surgery for at least a month and only told be about 2 weeks ago. She feels that it is pretty routine and will be back to her normal self in no time.
So why are we allowing doubt to control us?
Once I began to wrestle with my own doubt and realize I am afraid but it is out my control I was able to free up some space in my head.
The space that worry took up freed me up to be able to encourage my family. “Yes I’m concerned but I know she will be fine,” is the text message I sent out.
And the increased communication has helped with my sister. We do not get to speak as often as we should as this (strangely) has brought us a little closer. Our relationship has been a little stronger especially this week.
Regardless of today’s outcome I know the family will become even stronger due to the common threads of problems, worry, doubt, and love.
In the end I guess it’s love, the love for our mother, grandmother, aunt (whatever role she is according to the person) that creates the worries. And it will be the love that overcomes it and carries us no matter what happens today.
Let love overcome your own negative thoughts.